The Unruly Child

We all know rules are important in a family be we as parents often have a hard time having those rules accepted by our kids. You probably noticed how children find rules unfair. An unruly child basically doesn’t understand the rules, the necessity of them. This is not strange. Indeed, if rules are not discussed and explained, they can’t be accepted by children.

Having an unruly child has to make you rethink how you communicate with your child rather than “what’s wrong with him?”. By saying things differently, taking the time to explain the reasons of your decisions, you can impact your child’s behaviour. You can clearly change your child’s behaviour by applying a different “strategy” with him, by using new communication tools.

The 4 following key advices will help you deal more effectively with your unruly child:

1. Explain and justify the rules you set up, the punishments you give. Make clear what you say “no” to. I always say that when a child understands things, it’s easier for him to accept them and apply them. You have to make him aware of the logic consequences of his acts.

2. Try to find what causes a bad behaviour in your child. It’s a way of expression for your child and hides something, maybe a lack of attention. Sometimes, meeting your child’s needs is enough to make him accept your rules.

3. Your child probably doesn’t know how to react differently. Try to give him alternatives to his bad behaviour. You need to make him aware of the consequences of a bad and good behaviour in his life, what he can gain or lose, how it makes you feel. Emphasize the pride you feel when he acts in a good way, the privileges he can have. Reward his good behaviour!

4. Show compassion to your child. Understand his frustration. Tell him stories about your childhood. What rules taught you. Tell him that you settle rules because you care. It’s an expression of love. You know what is good for him. With such explanation, your child will understand your rules and feel loved and secure through them.

With these advices, I hope you’ll have another vision of your child and will help him respect the rules by understanding they mean you care.

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