How To Be A Good Mother

Asking yourself how to be a good mother is an excellent thing. But please remember that there’s no such thing as a bad mother! There are just parenting skills and guidelines that need to be understood and applied.

In this article about how to be a good mother I’m going to give you guidelines that will help you change positively the way you parent your kids. At the bottom of this article I’ll also give advices for mothers who want to know how to be a good mother and have no control at all over their children and feel powerless. Everyone can parent difficult children when they learn how.

How to be a good mother – Understanding your child

In order to fully embrace how to be a good mother, understanding how children function is a first essential step. Below are important things any mom wanting to know how to be a good mother should know.

• Children perceive the world around them very differently than adults and don’t have a subtle interpretation of things they hear and see. What’s obvious to us isn’t to them.

• They observe adults and imitate them. They shape their own behavior based on what they see in their parents. When wondering how to be a good mother, keep in mind that being a good mother can be as simple as being the best person you can be, the best role model.

• Children, once they can express their needs will do anything to have what they want. As they’re self-centered (which is normal), they test their parents’ reactions to find a way to get what they want.

• Children actually want their parents to be happy and proud. Pleasing their mom and dad is something that make them happy.

• Children can’t always manage their own emotions well. They’re a work in progress and need help understanding and managing their own feelings and emotions. A quick answer to “how to be a good mother?” could be “by helping your child expressing himself instead of being angry at his use of tantrums”.

How to be a good mother – Parenting the “right” way

Once you understand your child, it’s important to measure how much his behavior is a direct consequence of your own actions or inactions! Learning how to be a good mother comes with the awareness that you can shape your child’s behavior by changing your own reactions and decisions as a mother. Finding a balance between being firm and loving is key! Here are parenting keys that will hopefully answer how to be a good mother:

• Explain everything! Where you’re going, at what time you’ll be back, who are the people coming over for diner, what behavior you expect from your child, why you look happy or sad, ect. Children accept the rules they understand. Don’t just say “no”.

• Make clear that rules are an expression of your love for your child. They mean you care. You’re the mom, you know what’s good for your child. What would he do if he was alone?

• Always explain the consequences of a bad behavior and apply that consequence each time a rule is broken. In order for your child not to take the punishment as a decrease of your love for him, explain which behavior you’re punishing and make a clear distinction between your child and his behavior. Tell him you love him no matter what but that his bad actions have consequences.

•  Good actions must have good consequences too! Praise your child’s good behavior, say how proud you are and how happy your child makes you. This is very important.

• Show your vulnerability to your child. Tell him about things you’re not good at, are scared of, ect. Things he can understand and relate to. It’s important as it’ll show your child that failing is ok and that you’re human and was a child too once! It’ll teach your child to share his feelings with you, to express them with words. Learning how to be a good mother is also learning how to strenghten the bond with your child and be more than a mother that punishes and makes rules!

My take on how to be a good mother is very simple as you just saw. There’s something very logical about these guidelines that I hope will be useful to you. Of course, when you’re caught in your daily life and in the way you’re used to react to your child’s behavior, solutions aren’t always obvious. Learning how to be a good mother is essential as you’re a role model for your chid.

How to be a good mother when my child is out of control and impossible to manage?

When your child’s bad behavior has become an anchored habit and that you lost control over his behavior, simple parenting tips won’t be enough. Still it doesn’t mean it’s impossible for you to learn how to be a good mother and become one!

Children who are “stuck” in a bad behavior pattern need their parents to apply a coherent and consistent parenting method. Some parents and family and child therapists have created effective parenting programs that any parent can easily apply. They teach how to be a good mother, a good parent, in a detailed and guided way.

These parenting programs are made for even very difficult children and are guaranteed to work. They bring back hope for parents who are starting to feel like they won’t manage to discipline their children at all. Taking action and making decisions to improve your parenting skills are the first important steps on how to be a good mother.

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By Laura Kaine in Blog, General parenting on November 12, 2011