Bedtime Issue

In many families, bedtime is a major problem which started one day and seems to be worse every night. To be more accurate, the real problem is that their child won’t stay in bed rather than that their child won’t sleep. Actually, making a child sleep is simply impossible. He’ll sleep when he’s tired. But your child has decided not to stay in bed, he gets up several times and always has a good excuse to do so. That’s not the rule. The rule is “You stay in bed because it’s time. Yes, even if you’re not tired.”

Here are the 5 easy steps you can take to make your child stay in his bed. If your child won’t sleep, he’ll definitely stay in bed… and will fall asleep faster anyway!

1. Set up a bedtime routine. You can imagine the steps you want. It’s the routine itself that matters so don’t make it complicated. Here are a few ideas: putting my pyjamas, brushing my teeth, picking a short story to read, picking the plush I want to sleep with, listening to mummy or daddy reading the book and singing a song, kissing parents goodnight. To make it more fun to apply, you can illustrate each routine steps with drawing or pictures and pin the “routine guide” up where you want.

2. Have your child put his pyjamas on just before the bedtime routine starts. It’ll show it’s time to go to bed soon! Prepare the bedtime by speaking in a quiet voice, playing calm games, talking about tomorrow. When a child won’t sleep, it’s often because bedtime comes too quickly.

3. Be reassuring. Tell your child that you’re in the next room and that you’ll be back to check on him if he stays in his bed. Go back to his room after 5 minutes. Hug him, tell him you’re proud he stayed in his bed and that he understood that you’re always here if he needs you, you’re not going away. Tell him you’ll come back again in a moment. Wait more than 5 minutes and go back to his room. You can do this again, and make the intervals longer each time. He’ll fall asleep fast because he’ll feel secure. Always reward his good behaviour by a hug.

4. If your child gets up, change your tone, be firm but still calm, take him by the hand, don’t give him a hug or a kiss. Tell him he has to stay in his bed and that you’ll come back in 5 minutes. When you’re back in his room, and only if he stayed in his bed, kiss him and reassure him. If your child wants you to let the door open, make it a privilege he’ll have if he stays in bed. If he gets up, close the door behind you. He’ll understand he can only have that privilege by staying in his bed.

5. If your child won’t sleep, he’ll surely call you to tell you he’s not tired and can’t sleep. Tell him : “Ok then don’t sleep if you’re not tired. I just want you to stay in your bed. But don’t sleep, okay ?”. He’ll focus on not falling asleep and will sleep even faster! This worked with me as a child and with my own children.

The Mary Poppins’ song “Stay Awake” is pretty effective too!

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